Emotional Intelligence Empath Personal Development Relationship

9 Empath Markers Helping You Understand Why You Struggle In Relationships

Maria Flynn
Written by Maria Flynn

Empaths struggle DAILY with the pull to want to be alone or find and be with their “soul mate.”

Even after finding their romantic partner, they find themselves struggling because they desire the ALONE time (almost desperately).


Empaths naturally absorb emotions—that’s never turned off!  This is what puts Empaths in a state of overwhelm (and why crowds are things empaths naturally avoid). Therefore, empaths also absorb what their romantic partner is feeling (including their stresses of day).

Even if empaths avoid crowds, overload, and too much stimulation on a daily basis—overload can still happen when empaths have a romantic partner.

You may also like these articles about Empaths:

  1. The Empathy Trap: Understanding The Sociopath-Empath-Apath Triad
  2. 14 Ways Empaths Can Thrive and Make the World a Better Place
  3. 7 Things To Remember When You’re In Love With An Empath

On the FLIP SIDE (which is a beautiful thing) because empaths are “tuned in” they are very responsive to their partners sexually because empaths are in sync with them.

Still, the daily struggle is real for empaths between wanting a connection with a soul mate and wanting to be alone.

If you’ve NEVER felt this struggle, it may be that you naturally deter from this and “protect” yourself by finding romantic partners who are naturally “unavailable people” and who don’t desire deeper intimacy and connection.

SOMETIMES empaths get addicted to new relationships and the “honeymoon phase.” Meaning, the sex is great until it gets too intimate emotionally and you hightail it out of there and find your next new relationship “high.”

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Empaths feel heartbreak really HARD and really DEEPLY, too…

They fall in love because they see or feel the whole person and their beautiful potential before that person sees it for themselves.

The catch…

The person whom they see the potential in may never see it for themselves and therefore the empath struggles and is left with a broken heart over someone who isn’t meant to be with them.  That person falls away because they can’t reciprocate the deep love the empath has for them.

If you struggle between wanting to be alone and wanting a deep desire for a relationship, OR if you struggle to manage a relationship now for yourself, you may be what Dr. Judith Orloff calls a Relationship Empath.

Relationship Empath Assessment

Answer YES to as many of the 9 Empath Markers That Apply To You:

  1. I absorb my partner’s stress, symptoms, and emotions.
  2. I’m afraid of being smothered or of losing my own identity in a relationship.
  3. I need to be alone to recharge myself
  4. I sometimes prefer sleeping alone.
  5. I am annoyed by the sound of my partner watching television or talking on the phone
  6. My feelings get easily hurt.
  7. Arguments make me ill or leave me exhausted.
  8. I have difficulty setting boundaries and asserting my needs.
  9. When my partner and I travel, I prefer getting adjoining rooms.

Tally the number of YES replies you had to the statements, and here are is what Dr. Orloff says about it:

If you had 1 to 2 YES replies, it indicates you some tendencies of a relationship empath

If you had 3 to 6 YES replies, you have moderate relationship Empath tendencies

If you had 7 or more YES replies, you have strong relationship empath tendencies and need to learn skills to manage your sensitivities.

Empath can have thriving, loving relationships, but it’s all about learning to manage your gift and your sensitivities.

Ask for help from your partner and learn and grow together from the experts like Dr. Judith Orloff.

Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life Paperback, by Dr. Judith Orloff, M.D.

Some Tips To Consider:

  • Communicate REGULARLY with your partner.
  • Focus on ONE issue attime.  You don’t have to fix all of it overnight.  If you have the right partner, they’ll agree to this.
  • Breathe
  • Exercise (get physical and release energy and toxins before you talk it out).
  • Take time apart and look at NONtraditional lifestyles (where you spend time apart,or have separate bedrooms).  Create a private space for yourself.
  • For more information, please get Dr. Judith Orloff’s book, Emotional Freedom

**Information and assessment are pulled from the information and teachings of Dr. Judith Orloff.
For more information, please visit her website.

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About the author

Maria Flynn

Maria Flynn

Maria Flynn is the founder of One Wise Life as well as writer, coach, and creator of Your Energy Makeover, Spirituality For The Stubborn Soul Membership, and ABUNDANCE Bootcamp 3-Week Intensive. Maria has transformed her own life using the same methods she teaches her students to overcome and heal from abuse, obesity, and depression.

Maria has impacted the lives of millions through her online programs and social media presence. Maria has created a space for others to find self-love, self-discovery, self-improvement, and a renewed trust in their own intuition that answers the inner ache for those wanting more meaning and fulfillment in life.

Maria's purpose is to educate individuals to the reality that everyone (no exceptions) is a Sacred Thumbprint of the Universe (an extension and expression of the Universe) and therefore have an innate ability to work in HARMONYwith the Universe by integrating their own Spiritual Force supporting the creation of joyful, successful, meaningful, and ABUNDANT lifestyles. Maria's proven that her real and practical approach and systems work with clients around the world who've experienced massive breakthroughs.