Are you a “helper” by nature? Do you ever question why you do what you do?
Even if serving others is the most natural thing in the world, there is a dark underbelly at play that can leave you depleted and resentful. Your heart feels heavy.
Whenever I’ve been training therapists, healers or practitioners of any kind, I often hear the statement: “I just want to be of service.” And while I think I understand the essence of what they mean (I’ve often said this myself), I’ve repeatedly seen how this compelling desire rests in the murky water of unexamined agendas.
It lacks clarity of purpose.
So. What does “being in service” mean to you?
Here are some questions to consider:
1. DOES IT INVOLVE SACRIFICE ON YOUR PART?
Sacrifice often involves giving away something essential to you. Question whether this is necessary or appropriate.
2. DOES IT INCLUDE OFFERING ADVICE, OR PROVIDING GUIDANCE?
Notice if your intended recipient is open to receive what you are offering. Do you think you know better than they do?
3. IS THE OFFERING OF SOMETHING TANGIBLE, LIKE PHYSICAL SUPPORT?
Make sure that you are not “giving yourself away.” It helps nobody to give without taking care of yourself.
4. WHY ARE YOU DRAWN TO ACT?
Sometimes the best action is no action. You cannot co-opt another’s lessons. Being a non-judgmental witness to someone learning for themselves is an act of love.
5. ARE YOUR ACTIONS FULFILLING AN AGENDA ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT, OR GOOD OR FAIR?
Do you expect something in return? There are no scales in service. Stop keeping score.
6. ARE YOU SERVING IN ORDER TO REAP SPIRITUAL REWARDS?
The ego loves to be play the game of gathering chits.
7. DOES IT ENHANCE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOURSELF?
More ego gratification. This goes right along with number six.
8. DO YOU AVOID CLEANING YOUR OWN “HOUSE”?
It’s far easier for natural helpers to see what someone else needs than to discover how to nourish yourself.
9. DOES YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM HOLD THAT IT IS WRONG TO CARE FOR YOU AND THAT THE ONLY GOOD IS IN SERVING OTHERS?
Ask yourself, where is the balance? Another way to ask this is…
10. DO YOU GIVE AND GIVE, DEPLETING YOUR OWN ENERGY SYSTEMS? HOW CAN YOU GIVE ANYTHING WHEN YOU ARE RUNNING ON FUMES?
11. WHAT PURPOSE DOES PRESENCE SERVE IN YOUR ACTION?
Personal will can run amok in the name of service. Allow the power of Presence to guide you. It knows so much more about what is needed! Get quiet and go inside. Ask to be shown the way.
Personal meaning can be realized through acts of service. I have often heard the phrase “we teach what we need to learn.” I think of that frequently. It helps to keep my actions aligned with my beliefs and my sense of purpose. When I remember that we are all part of the human community and that there are no beginners, I see Presence in everyone I meet. When I know that it is the energy of Presence flowing through me, my only responsibility is to get out of the way and allow that to flow unhindered. My ego’s agenda has no place. I respect that the same energy of Presence is within them.
Truly, how can you serve another without being of service to who you are first? When you give, be of service to yourself first. Put on your own oxygen mask so that you are empowered to assist another. It is the essence of how energy moves in circulation.
…Take time to serve yourself with a peaceful, attentive breath. A single conscious breath changes everything…in a moment.
…Respect your own needs. You are the best example to the rest of the world.
…Respect another’s right to their own learning and lessons. Learn to be a good witness.
When your actions are aligned with Presence, the energetic imprint of what you offer to another is magnificent.
The truth sets all hearts free.