ABUNDANCE LIfestyle

How Mothers Are Failing Us

Maria Flynn
Written by Maria Flynn

What you do now and everyday is either supporting your child’s growth and development or it’s failing them by keeping them small and lost in an ever-evolving, and fast-paced world. What I’m about to share is true about mothers, fathers, mother and father figures, and anyone raising and influencing a child.

It pains me to see the repetitive actions and lifestyle choices that are perpetuating sadness (even depression) in children (especially teens). Before we you any chance at reaching and positively influencing your children, you’ve got to clear up your own energy, first. Your children’s ability to lead joyful and successful lives of their own depends on it.

 

Simply put, you’ve got to be willing to cut the crap (starting now).

1. Are you fooling yourself with false “positivity”?

In your own search for joy, love, and financial freedom… you may have chosen small wins, easy wins, and feel good wins that fill the time and falsely have you believing you’re creating a life of positivity and abundance (when in reality—you’re fooling yourself and widening the gap between you and a fulfilling life). In other words folks, life is more than a vision board and throwing out a “namaste” at the end of your Facebook post.

Finding purpose in your problem IS positive thinking. This was a major lesson for me to learn! Listen up… If you’re running away from the things that don’t feel good, you’re missing HUGE growth opportunities and missing the boat entirely on the self-discovery that show you (and show off) everything you’re made of and capable of. The good stuff in life can’t find you if your own energy is focused on running away.

I get it. No one likes stress! But it’s high-time you realize that distraction from what is happening doesn’t remove stress…it pokes it, provokes it, and prolongs it.

When a problem shows up, it’s an invitation for you to show up, too—and even show off your problem solving and creative skills. Your kids are watching and learning (and the Universe is paying close attention, too).

When kids see you embrace challenge, they’ll likely do the same. As parents, we must provide experiences that show our children how we handle, move through, and overcome challenges so that they can recall and draw upon those experiences to do the same when their own problems arise.

2. Are you teaching them how to chase ABUNDANCE (verses welcoming and attracting it)?

Here it goes (and I already know I’ll get push back on this one). If you’re paying your kids for good grades you’re teaching them to chase the almighty dollar. It’s a chasing energy and it’s teaching them to chase the money not create ABUNDANCE (and fulfilling lifestyles).

Successful people (in all areas of life, including financial) have autotelic traits (go ahead look it up, I encourage you to do so). That is, they find joy and pleasure from doing their best (and exceeding their best) especially when it’s a challenge.

For those with autotelic traits, reward by way of money, opportunities, etc… is simply the bonus never the requirement. In other words, it’s the energy match! They aren’t “lucky”, they have built an energetic momentum that says you can trust me to complete the work, and to do it well because I can’t do less than my best or better!

Paying kids for grades supports more of a “what’s in it for me” attitude and has the potential to start a habit of chasing the money and the material (short-term things and temporary joy). Don’t be surprised if in the future, they find themselves frustrated because they get overlooked for promotions.

Grades are not about money.

Doing their best in school is what they’re supposed to do! Incentive for good grades by way of money for grades doesn’t expand self-trust and self-confidence. It removes expanding the energy and the feeling of what they themselves are capable of doing (especially if they’ve tackled a challenging class or project).

As parents, we must help them fall in love with the feeling of doing good for good sake, because it’s the right thing to do. Passing them a $10, $20, or $50 is short-term and so is the video game they’ll get with it. Ohhhhh….can you feel the energy just fizzle out to nothing?

STOP building ABUNDANCE BLOCKS with your bucks! Instead, find ways to expand the feelings of how amazing they are, how they did the work, how they created the grade (the result of their work). Reflect where they started and how they’ve progressed and grown!

You gotta feel the feels—YOU (WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU DO) generates the high vibes! It comes from within and not because of something outside of you.  When you vibrate high, higher vibrating people and things come to join you (this is SUPER good when it comes to relationships).

This is true with your relationship with money, too. Money is high energy… and merits high respect. And so you must also have the high vibrating energy and self-respect for money to find its way to you. It’s true for you and for your kids.

But what about the gifts???  Of course celebrate with gifts … have fun! In fact, give a gift when it’s not about the grade, the birthday, or any other occasion. Give a gift when they least expect it and let them know it’s because they’re on the right track doing the right things!

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3. Are you Facebooking before Face-to-Facing with your family?

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
What are you doing while you’re eating breakfast and drinking your coffee?
What are you doing during lunch, dinner, snack, and any moment you have a break?
What are you doing at each stop light? …or even worse, while you’re driving?

If you’re scrolling through social media, then what you’re actually doing is letting your family subtly know that what’s on the screen in front of your nose is more important than they are. (the irony doesn’t escape me as you likely found this article on Facebook…but I also know where to find you). 🙂

Scrolling through social media is putting everyone else’s agenda and lives before your own life.
Are your kids doing the same?

Are you finding comfort by numbing out on Facebook or Instagram?
Are your kids doing the same?

Are you comparing and feeling deflated by seeing what others are doing and having and creating that you aren’t?
Are your kids feeling the same way?

Your habitual scrolling (that fills the time morning, noon, and night) is stripping your ability to connect and communicate. It lessens your chances to know the power of being alone and in silence. The more you fill the time with fillers from social media, the more your children model the behavior.

More distractions means less of you helping them develop listening skills (including interpreting their own body signals, feeling and hearing their intuition and gut instinct, and recognizing their own Divine wisdom).

There is more power to be gained in knowing thyself before knowing what everyone else is doing on the gram.

This summer with the family has proven to be yet another wake up call!

I watched moms and dads on the beach stare at their phones (for hours)…

I watched parents condition their kids into silence with headphones and an iPad, just so they can enjoy a dinner in a restaurant (effectively without their kids)…

I watched parents be more concerned about their smartphones then ensure their toddlers safety walking from a busy parking lot to the store…

I watched teens run into poles, signs, and into each other because they never bothered to look up off their smartphones while they were walking…

I watched people never bother to look both ways before stepping off the curb, because whatever was on that smartphone was more important than oncoming traffic…

I watched cars swerve in and out of highway lanes (with children as their passengers) while the driver is texting and driving…

Self-development and growth begins with making self a priority and important (not secondary). So, put the f*cking smartphone down and please think about this for minute.  Your children are watching and modeling your behavior. In fact, 99.9% of children model behavior (it’s how they naturally learn). I’m not saying stop using your smartphone…just be smarter about how and when and why you use your smartphone.

Habits create everything.
Mediocre habits create mediocre lives.
Empowering habits create empowered lives.

Moms (and Dads, and anyone who influences our precious children)… what habits do you have? In other words, what are you teaching your kids? What future are you helping them create? It matters and it’s making an impact in the world. No exceptions.

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About the author

Maria Flynn

Maria Flynn

Maria Flynn is the founder of One Wise Life as well as writer, coach, and creator of ABUNDANCE Bootcamp 3-Week Intensive, an online course designed to help individuals effectively heal, overcome struggle, and experience Spiritual awakening that unfolds self-empowerment creating joyful and ABUNDANT lifestyles. Maria has transformed her own life using the same methods she teaches to overcome obesity and depression to becoming the thought leader she is today using social media and creating a growing fan-base spanning the globe.

Maria has impacted the lives of millions through her online coaching programs and social media presence. With more than 280K Facebook followers and a Facebook LIVE show called, ABUNDANT Lifestyle with Maria Flynn, Maria has created a space for self-love, self-discovery, and self-improvement that answers the inner ache for those wanting more meaning and fulfillment in life and who are tired of suppressing it.

Maria's purpose is to educate individuals to the reality that everyone (no exceptions) is a Sacred Thumbprint of the Universe (an extension and expression of the Universe) and therefore have an innate ability to work with the Universe by integrating their own Spiritual Force supporting the creation of joyful, successful, meaningful, and ABUNDANT lifestyles. Maria's proven that her real and practical approach and system works with clients around the world who've experienced massive breakthroughs.